Down, But NOT Out

Hi all - So this has been a crazy fun week - NOT :)

I've been sick and was admitted to a hospital on Tuesday. Just made it home after the 2 hour long discharge and 1 hour of waiting for my new prescriptions to be filled. The insurance company wouldn't pay for one of the prescription, because it was for the same antibiotic I got on Sunday. Mind you I threw out that first prescription because the Dr. wrote me a new one and we all know you have to finish a full round of antibiotics. But anyway the prescription was only $17.50 so F* the insurance company,  I paid for it my damn self - they don't own me!

There are a lot of things you think about while laying in a hospital bed (other than why daytime TV is so horrible). One of the things that I kept thinking about was that I am still fairly "healthy" for a fat person. I don't have any of the diseases or symptoms that WILL eventually come along with carrying the extra weight. The key word of course in that last sentence is WILL.

*Warning very personal info in the next paragraph*

On Sunday when I was in the most pain I've been in in a very long time. I kept thinking "What if this kills me? What if after I finally I make the decision to change my lifestyle a tooth infection kills me? Who does it really affect if I die?" When you're single with no kids that tends to cross your mind when faced with death. We are constantly reminded how important family is, and it is not that I don't think having kids and a husband would be great, but that just hasn't been my path in life yet. Now, of course, when I was in the hospital my mom, dad, brother, BFF, 3 bosses, a few friends and the teenagers that I work with let me know I am important to them, which means more than anything in the entire world. Even if just one person would be hurt by my leaving, isn't that enough? I think so, because if you were that one person, it would matter to you.

Anyway, I am not going to weigh in this week, I am going to take care of myself and listen to my body (I have the most genius ideas sometimes) and do what I can. When I am able to get my 30 minute workouts done again I will, until then all I can do is my best.

Sorry, if this is a little scattered, I am sure I will have more fluid thoughts in the days to come. Can't wait to catch up on everyone's blogs tomorrow!